Match Report by Will B.

Southgate vs Wayfarers (League away)

3 – 3

3 – 2 (Southgate win Shootout for extra point)

On a chilly, frosty morning the troops woke from their sleep; knowing today was the day to stamp Southgate’s dominance into London/South east hockey!!! Off to Dulwich college, we arrived in dribs and drabs… unfortunately for us, we looked around the changing room, and something wasn’t quite right. As we spoke between ourselves, we receive a message from the missing piece. Freddie Trathen: ‘Got pulled over and gonna be quite late’.

Skipper Scott, rallied the 14/15 man squad as we waited for Dr. Dunc (our team manager and chief cheerleader) to bribe the Met… As Freddie arrived, we started to warm up. A solid 4 miles later the warmup finished and we found ourselves in the carpark of this wonderfully-friendly establishment. A short-game of netball later and the Ethan lookalike caretaker and Will are offering eachother out in the carpark… not a joke btw… Literally in a carpark: over possible 40k worth of damage due to a football. Understandably enough, we took it to the pitch… A standard Southgate lethargic warmup later and it was go time!



Free flowing Southgate play from the off and we found ourselves knocking on the door early on. Kyle and Reggie offering sharp leads to receive the ball from the defensive line. Unfortunately for Kyle he was struggling to pick them, so the ball found the fence.


Hang on a minute, a Wayfarers attack!!! A hard slap beats our midfield line, and makes its way to the middle of the D where their Centre-forward slotted it home beating the Hologram in goal.. only joking Sam! 0-1


Southgate continue where they left off, the ball being popped side to side, David pushing up the sideline creating space for Jamie to receive the ball out right, before a neat bit of Joergen-ball and it made its way to the prolific predator Reggie on the P spot. Like a hot knife through butter, he turned the ball into a backfoot shot bomb and detonated it in the goal. 1-1


Wayfarers gradually grew into the game, their ball-playing centre back, distributed the ball out to their right, and after a poor bit of marking from Will, their centre forward found himself with a perfect opportunity to regain the lead. As Sam rushes out to smother the man… and ball, he delicately chipped the ball into the net. 1-2

*Whistle* & Half time

“Can’t fault much from that first half”, “Cut their 2 centre backs”, “Go out there and win this game” was the general consensus among that half time talk from Pep Guardi… *cough cough* Joergen and Mikel Arte… *cough cough* Chris.



A fast restart from Wayfarers earnt them a Penalty corner. Whilst the fantastic four armoured up, Scott was still questioning why his dirtiest stick tackle in history wasn’t given for a stick block. A not quite right injection allowed their star man to drift with the ball around the right side of the D, before unleashing a thunderous strike beating the defensive unit at the near post. 1-3


A few heads start dropping, but not from the Umpires, as they decide to go to the pocket for the first time and send off Will for not backing up 5, allowing Will to have his 2 minute rest. Meanwhile, Scott ensures the good guys stay calm and controlled. Despite down to 10, we inspired some beautiful Hockey allowing Jamie through to mark his return with a stunning goal. 2-3


The boys continue to advance with the ball before new recruit Jack absorbs pressure inside the D before slotting it onto a foot and the U18s have a penalty corner. Sharply injected to the first castle where the stopper forgets to stop the ball and it trickles off the sideline where the bad guys kick off a miserable counterattack.


Southgate continue to pile on the pressure. Sajiv, Tadhg and Corey to shift the ball between them, forcing Wayfarers to sit back. Kiran running up right sideline threatening, before it makes its way to ‘G Cubed’ Guy *some middle name beggining with G* Garner and he produced some real magic. With the turning circle of an ant, Guy ran between 5 of their players, turning them inside out, before sneakily slotting away on the near post Southgate’s 3rd. 3-3


With Southgate going for the winner, Scott advanced with the ball, before receiving the 27th shoulder barge of the game, and finally the umpires show the 2nd green of the game, and Wayfarers’ first. “Look after the ball” was yelled from the side line as we popped the ball around the back before Kiran picked the ball up wide out on the right hand side, before he smoked the ball 6 feet in the air allowing the umpire to blow the final whist shortly after.


As handshakes starts colliding, a cry from the sideline announced that the game shall go to a shootout to result in one team leaving with 2 points and one leaving with 1. However, as we grouped together and arranged who would take the shuffles, a bunch of walking footballers arrived onto the pitch, resulting in the opposition contemplating leaving the current pitch and using an alternate pitch 2 miles up the road. After a bit of argy bargy, we managed to find a space of 23m to take the shuffles. Scott won the toss and we take the first shuffle.


Will steps up and… misses

Wayfarers step up and… score


Scott steps up and… misses

Wayfarers step up and… score


Guy Steps up and… SCORES!


Wayfarers step up and… SAVED BY SAM!


Kiran stepts up and… SCORES!


Wayfarers step up and…SAVED BY SAM!


Reggie steps up and… SCORES!


Wayfarers step up… SAVED BY SAM!!!

3-2 Final

The extra point comes back to North London with the good guys.

Highlights of the day:

Dr. Dunc getting pulled over

Anarchy in the Car park

No teas

Shootout win!

Poor show for the showers

MoM – Guy Garner

DoD – Duncan Trathen

Author Match Report – Will Biggins

Goal Scorers: Reggie, Jamie, Guy

Shootout Scorers: Guy, Kiran, Reggie

Overall day rating: 7/10 (no teas minuses the score)

The under 18s go again:

5th November – League – Home v Sevenoaks

19th November – EH Cup – Home v Hampstead & Westminster